Monday, July 29, 2013

sorry, xia...

had second thoughts if i have to write this here as this made me felt so bad the entire day today.  i don't want to be reminded with what happened but i want to learn more from it...

i had to rush to office today for a 9am management meeting.  xia's class is at 10am but i had to bring them with me that early also.  told mom that they can just stay in the nearby mcdo while they wait for xia's class to start.  that was the deal...

while in C-5 already, xia remembered that she wasn't able to put on her belt!  and started to cry... and cry... and cry!!!  she wanted me to return home for her belt!  i tried to pacify her (while driving) but to no avail.  she was inconsolable and she was in tantrums na!  i kept my patience but she was throwing fits on mom.

i had to give in by letting her go back home - so had to detour.  the stress was building up because i can't be late in the meeting.  and i said a lot of foul words on xia non-stop for about 5 minutes! :( :( :(  dropped them off at the tricycle terminal by the service road so they can go home and i can still meet my 9am call time.

on my way back - the 10mins ride to work seemed to be my longest trip ever because my heart was breaking...  tears welled up in my eyes because i knew i should have not done that to my one and only love...  i felt so guilty that i wanted to go back home and just hug her tight and tell her i was sorry.

i wore that heavy heart the whole day :(  good thing my mom is with us.  while xia may or may not remember this anymore, my mom was there to tell xia i was sorry even before i could personally tell her.  and that i just got mad because i want her to be a good girl.

i went home early to make amends with my little girl.  and it was like nothing happened...  but i felt the need to say sorry to her over and over again and she said her sorry back...

i think i was not just used to handling tantrums because she is "generally" easy to handle.  even back when she was a baby, she hardly cries.  there was never an instance when she cried in a mall or a shop because she wanted something and i won't buy it for her.  she never cried in her first day in school (she even just left me by the door!).  she even doesn't cry since 2yrs old when given shots by her doctor - a lot of people get amazed by her!  and i never imagined that a forgotten belt can make her wail like that!

sorry my xia, if i can only eat back my words, i would... but i know i couldn't anymore...  i know that i have hurt your little heart - and i hope you know that mama did not mean it!  sorry to have snapped on you.  i should have been more careful with my words...

i regretted everything i said to you, my little one.  i will never let anyone hurt you, more so myself!

please forgive me... please... please...

because i love you.  forever.


  

Sunday, July 28, 2013

major milestone? sana!

xia finished her milk in a glass for the first time!!! i hope we are saying goodbye to her feeding bottles for good :)

she starts by scooping the milk by the spoon but ends up drinking it from the glass anyway...

this is it, another major milestone!!! i hope!!!









Thursday, July 18, 2013

the cake story...

it's ate ging's birthday today. i told xia when she woke up to greet ging. when ging came in the room, xia said:

"happy birthday, ate ging! (then gave ate ging a hug) ...
i am going to give you a cake later, then you have to blow your candle, ok?"

nag panic ako... wait pancit lang ang na plan kong ihanda. bakit me nalalaman cake etong anak ko?!

and since pinasubo ako ni xiatot, i left office earlier than usual para makabili ng cake and maabutan ko pa silang gising...

xia was in her sleepwear already when i came home. and she was happy that she was able to give ate ging a cake! she sang the birthday song and blew the candle with her dear ate ging! awwww she's as sweet as a cake!!! hehehe...

happy birthday, ate ging! please continue
to love xia as your own. i have so many things to be grateful for and i hope we are able to show our love back to you...


Saturday, July 13, 2013

#ootd

i will never ever get enough of you, xiatot!!!

you are one precious gem!

i love you always! 😍

Saturday, July 6, 2013

dreams do come true...

today is the official start of xia's journey towards her dream of becoming a ballerina!

her first day in regular ballet class went very well and she got another 2 sets of stamps!

it brought me so much pride to see that my little girl was so good at it - it felt like she was really born to perform! naks... indulge me, i'm one proud mama today (and everyday!) hehehe...